Im feeling a little better. Perhaps its the sunshine and the fact ive now managed to apologise to the parentals and the poor girlfriend at work, but its like a weight is being lifted off my shoulders.
Its probably also the fact ive now slept sufficiently and the effects of the booze etc from the weekend have worn off. Either way im feeling a more chipper, albeit not much more.
Its payday tomorrow and ive already spent it mentally on clothes and more clothes. Im sure i wont physically but its nice to dream eh. Also preparing for another long weekend in which im expected to ride to Brighton and back, then say farewell to my best bud who flies back to Australia in the new week, then attend the usual bbqs and piss ups that are associated with extended time off work. So its going to be another big one. But in moderation!!!
Wednesday, 23 May 2007
Monday, 21 May 2007
Another fucking monday
Ive got a killer migraine thats prevented me from working. Does my head in really. Cant see for a while, I lose the power of cognitive thought, can go numb in my limbs and brain. Today was no exception to the rule. It was so bad that I shouldnt be writing about it online i should be in bed with a cup o soup wishing there was a permanent cure!!
It has been a while since my last entry, so I thought I owed it to you all for an update.
Work has been boring, but now the wheels of change are in full swing, wo ill be working solo in my role from here on in, with someone taking care of things part time. This ensures im busy and ought to in turn earn me more money. God knows I need it. Paying off Rubi is leeching what little I have left after bills each month. Ill be glad when its done.
On the home front, Ive just spent the weekend with the parental units, although I feel awful that I went up to see them and instead end up on the lash at a do in town with the cousin. Still, for what its worth it was a great time.... until I managed one of my infamous blank spots from around 5am-10am. All I vaguely recall is leaving the lads house we had all piled into after the gig, roaming the streets and staggering onto a bus. Needless to say upon waking up in my bed 5 hours had disappeared and dad wasnt speaking to me. God I need to stop going out. Im beginning to think booze and drugs are a bad idea. Oh and so is stubbornly waiting for a bus that you cant be sure is actually running all so you dont have to face your old man whos waiting for an excuse to start a barney. sigh.
So thats the absolute latest. to sum it up, managed to piss off the cousin (who has just started rehab...i left her in a random house with strangers onthe lash), the parents (for said reason), and also managed to inadvertantly offend one of my girlfriends at work who is not best pleased with me anyways. I think the situation is termed a 'cluster fuck'...
In other news, Rubi is running like a dream, some potential rideouts on the weekend and possible relocation to a cave in the hills is on the cards to save money. Oh and of course the suffering of loneliness consumes me exponentially daily.
Pleasant post? no its fucking not. will my mood improve? i fucking hope so. think ill catch a break sometime soon? insert your comments below.
now get yer knickers on and make me a cuppa tea.
It has been a while since my last entry, so I thought I owed it to you all for an update.
Work has been boring, but now the wheels of change are in full swing, wo ill be working solo in my role from here on in, with someone taking care of things part time. This ensures im busy and ought to in turn earn me more money. God knows I need it. Paying off Rubi is leeching what little I have left after bills each month. Ill be glad when its done.
On the home front, Ive just spent the weekend with the parental units, although I feel awful that I went up to see them and instead end up on the lash at a do in town with the cousin. Still, for what its worth it was a great time.... until I managed one of my infamous blank spots from around 5am-10am. All I vaguely recall is leaving the lads house we had all piled into after the gig, roaming the streets and staggering onto a bus. Needless to say upon waking up in my bed 5 hours had disappeared and dad wasnt speaking to me. God I need to stop going out. Im beginning to think booze and drugs are a bad idea. Oh and so is stubbornly waiting for a bus that you cant be sure is actually running all so you dont have to face your old man whos waiting for an excuse to start a barney. sigh.
So thats the absolute latest. to sum it up, managed to piss off the cousin (who has just started rehab...i left her in a random house with strangers onthe lash), the parents (for said reason), and also managed to inadvertantly offend one of my girlfriends at work who is not best pleased with me anyways. I think the situation is termed a 'cluster fuck'...
In other news, Rubi is running like a dream, some potential rideouts on the weekend and possible relocation to a cave in the hills is on the cards to save money. Oh and of course the suffering of loneliness consumes me exponentially daily.
Pleasant post? no its fucking not. will my mood improve? i fucking hope so. think ill catch a break sometime soon? insert your comments below.
now get yer knickers on and make me a cuppa tea.
Wednesday, 2 May 2007
Long Week(end)
Im noticing a trend already in my posts towards the melancholy, so why break form?
Its just passed the hump hour at work (ie midday wednesday) and to be honest I had to be told that by someone to realise it. Time has been a blur for me lately and not helped by recent events as mentioned in my last post. Days merge into one, work is the height of tedium and I have more and more trouble sleeping at night. Usually up until 1 now from the earlier time of 11ish.
I know there are things on my mind like the usual 'shit wheres all my money gone this month?' and the classic 'I wonder what it would look like if i wore a skirt?', but some more pressing issues have popped up like 'shall i stay here for the rest of the year and head to australia for study and marriage...or go now? (and if so which course can i afford?, or even will i be arrested if i return to australia for debts i forgot?) and my personal favourite 'why the fack do i feel so empty?'
Whilst I can hypothesise on the answers, and believe me thats all im doing at the moment, I feel that no matter what Im going to do for the moment im missing out on living. Am I paranoid or just unsatisfied? I know theres a difference....
Well whatever it is im trying to be optimistic. Sure I earned less this month than what I owe out thanks to work screwing me over, but surely i can have a spend low month?! Sure im without a companion but isnt the whole point of life to meet new friends and share experiences? Maybe I WOULD look good in a skirt! who knows eh? I just have to ride the winds of change and see where they take me. This weekend will be an interesting one to say the least. Im going to attempt to focus on having a good time. Quality ME time crossing off the things ive wanted to do in my life. I think a ride to Brighton with the club might work in focusing on escapism. *shrug*
NB the skirt was a bet i lost some time ago with one of the girls at work. If anyone has a spare size 36 (in guys sizes) skirt theyre willing to loan me for a day please let me know.
Its just passed the hump hour at work (ie midday wednesday) and to be honest I had to be told that by someone to realise it. Time has been a blur for me lately and not helped by recent events as mentioned in my last post. Days merge into one, work is the height of tedium and I have more and more trouble sleeping at night. Usually up until 1 now from the earlier time of 11ish.
I know there are things on my mind like the usual 'shit wheres all my money gone this month?' and the classic 'I wonder what it would look like if i wore a skirt?', but some more pressing issues have popped up like 'shall i stay here for the rest of the year and head to australia for study and marriage...or go now? (and if so which course can i afford?, or even will i be arrested if i return to australia for debts i forgot?) and my personal favourite 'why the fack do i feel so empty?'
Whilst I can hypothesise on the answers, and believe me thats all im doing at the moment, I feel that no matter what Im going to do for the moment im missing out on living. Am I paranoid or just unsatisfied? I know theres a difference....
Well whatever it is im trying to be optimistic. Sure I earned less this month than what I owe out thanks to work screwing me over, but surely i can have a spend low month?! Sure im without a companion but isnt the whole point of life to meet new friends and share experiences? Maybe I WOULD look good in a skirt! who knows eh? I just have to ride the winds of change and see where they take me. This weekend will be an interesting one to say the least. Im going to attempt to focus on having a good time. Quality ME time crossing off the things ive wanted to do in my life. I think a ride to Brighton with the club might work in focusing on escapism. *shrug*
NB the skirt was a bet i lost some time ago with one of the girls at work. If anyone has a spare size 36 (in guys sizes) skirt theyre willing to loan me for a day please let me know.
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